Like An Upside Down Lawn Mower

Apparently, between now and the last time I bought detergent,
a massive change occurred within the laundry industry.
MASSIVE CHANGE, people.
MASSIVE.
SOOOOOOOO massive.
Im surprised it's not all over the news right now,
smashed right there between the murders, the rape victims,
and the tiny local girl
who won the big horse jumping contest.

Big news indeed, people.
So big.

Like an easter egg full
of gun powder
sitting under a magnifying glass
on the roof of a double decker bus.

(not sure where that came from... it just popped in there)

Yes sir... laundry will never be the same.

All of a sudden,
you can buy a detergent bottle
(any brand, mind you)
with
a
TAP.

Yes. A tap! Now you don't have to lift the bottle anymore.
And you can keep your Franzia next to the Gain and
everything will look
FINE.

Big news people.
So, so, so, so big.